You Can't Manage What You Don't Measure

Let’s face it, nothing says fun like statistical analysis, especially when it’s about sex work. It’s the kind of topic that makes the ATO break out in a cold sweat and makes your Uncle Barry suspiciously quiet.

As AI Meta wisely explains, it’s difficult to provide exact figures for the number of sex workers in Australia (and globally) due to the pesky nature of the industry being, well… technically illegal in many places, and also because no one’s walking around with “SEX WORKER #2024” stitched on their Hi-Vis. Definitions of what even counts as sex work vary so widely, it’s like choosing a winner on The Bachelor - messy, emotional, and probably rigged.

But still … we try.

Lies, Damned Lies, and… Brothel Math

Getting a statistical grip on the number of sex workers be it globally, nationally, or in our beloved Western Australia, is a bit like trying to do your tax return after three glasses of wine: full of guesswork, hidden receipts, and a high chance of discovering something unexpected.

This brings us to one of the great philosophers of data integrity: Mark Twain, who once quipped, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Too right, Mark. But why even bother with numbers at all? It’s not because someone’s aiming to personally trial every sex worker in WA in a Herculean test of stamina (though we salute your ambition, hypothetical hero). The reason is far less exciting … it’s for the bean counters. Health departments, police, and our tax-adoring mates at the ATO all need to know what’s going on because, in the words of every corporate strategy deck ever written: “You can’t manage what you don’t measure.”

So, yes, numbers matter. But for those of us not tasked with regulation or policing, the “how many?” question is simply… interesting.

By the Numbers: Sex Work in Australia

Here’s what AI Meta tells us (and no, sadly, they didn’t conduct fieldwork):

UNAIDS estimate (2016): Around 20,500 sex workers in Australia.
More recent estimates: Between 20,000 and 25,000, give or take a few who were probably in the loo during the survey.
Legal status: Varies wildly. In some states it’s legal and regulated, in others it’s more underground than a warehouse rave in the ‘90s.

Now Let’s Zoom Out to the World

Worldwide estimates: Between 40–42 million people engaged in sex work. (Or, to put it another way, roughly the population of Argentina, with better stamina). Woohoo I'm headed worldwide!
Age & gender: An estimated 75% are between 13 (WTF!!!) and 25 years old, and 80% are women.

Yes, that age range deserves a collective “Jeez, no thanks.” Child exploitation and trafficking are very real problems, which is why regulation, safety, and proper data matter so much. But back to our comedic stylings…

The Fine Print (AKA: “Why Are These Numbers So Bloody Dodgy?”)

Data limitations: The data is patchy, like your ex’s attempt at a goatee. Different countries use different methods, and nobody agrees on definitions.
What is a “sex worker” anyway? From full-service workers to sugar babies to OnlyFans foot models … it’s a broad umbrella, and not everyone’s carrying the same type of work permit.
The dark stuff: Sex work is often entangled with exploitation, trafficking, and vulnerability, which makes tracking the numbers murkier than a politician's browser history.

Let’s Talk WA – The Wild West

In Western Australia, estimates are especially difficult because, surprise! - brothels are illegal … unless they’re given the nod under the WA Police’s Containment Policy. Yes, it sounds like a leftover COVID directive, but no, it’s a long-standing setup where certain places get unofficial approval to operate, even though the law technically says they shouldn’t.

Enter: Langtrees VIP, the gold standard of legal-ish loving under the visionary leadership of Madam Mary-Anne Kenworthy. Langtrees has been the antithesis of exploitation and trafficking, instead providing a safe, professional environment where workers thrive, not just survive. Think of it as the Chanel boutique of brothels, however this Chanel also has a dungeon.

For decades, Langtrees has modelled what it looks like to care for workers properly, offering autonomy, support, and a safe place to work. Basically, the opposite of your average reality TV production.

A Saucy Little Stat to Finish

So here’s a fun fact for your next awkward dinner party:
If there are 20,000–25,000 sex workers in Australia, and the national population is about 26 million, then you’re looking at about 1 sex worker per 1,000 to 1,300 people.

Translation: next time you’re packed into the stadium at the footy, or squeezing into a sold-out concert, just know, statistically speaking, someone in there is a sex worker. Or a client. Or both. So go on, give a subtle wink and a discreet thumbs-up to seats 1,001 through 1,299. You’re surrounded by unsung legends.

In conclusion:
Sex work statistics may be vague, inconsistent, and more slippery than a lube-slicked pole, but they still matter. Whether you're a policymaker, a punter, or just someone who likes nosing into the facts behind the flesh trade, it's good to know the numbers … give or take a few thousand.

Just don’t ask anyone to show their spreadsheets at the bar.

Author: Magnum
FOR: Langtrees.com

9/6/2025 10:56am
Australian Escorts and Brothels